Thursday, January 28, 2010

thank you everyone

    mm6 cardigan, acne hex jeans in dark cash (xmas gift), h&m top, zara scarf


    I don't think I'd realized how much my readers meant to me until today. On a day when everything that could go wrong happened I found comfort in the strangest of places: the blogosphere. I'm not going to lie, I'd always pictured myself as different from your average fashion blogger: I'd never planned on gaining such a significant number of readers nor did I go out of my way to attain it. It just kind of happened somehow and to be completely honest it really freaked me out for a while since it happened so fast (I forget I didn't actually start posting here until nine months ago.

    I'm still in the process of growing up: I'm not as obsessive compulsive as I used to be and I've grown a lot as a person but old habits are really difficult to shake off when they're so ingrained in your every day being. I'm the type of person who will recopy notes when I make minor mistakes such as writing on the wrong line or incorrectly spacing things, I even write most of my notes on graph paper for optimal control. And don't even get me started on this blog... you have no idea how many unpublished posts I have sitting on my Blogger dashboard at the moment. Somehow, however, it's starting to wear off. Maybe I am ready to post "just anything" now no matter how mundane it may be. Wasn't I the one who called it a "lifestyle" blog? I can easily say I was totally full of shit (hah) since I obviously backed out but hey, I can get a second chance, right?

    You see, I've come to realize that I really have been taking my readers for granted this entire time. As someone who is prone to the almost daily battles with self-doubt, I let my fears get the best of me and found it hard to believe that anyone could like me enough to take an interest in this little hobby of mine, whether it's my style or writing content. Taking a break from blogging really put things into perspective: it's not all about the number of readers you get but rather who's actually willing to stick with you no matter what choices you make concerning your blog. Why should I get freaked out about so many people looking at this when there's a select few who really geniunely care? Today, after a particularly difficult day where nothing seemed to work out, I received so many encouraging comments and emails that reading them actually caused me to tear up a little. I can't thank you guys enough for putting up with me, let's try this again, okay?

    (ps. I didn't mean to look like such a downer in the photo, it was 7:30am and I couldn't help it, haha.)

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thank you everyone

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